


A portrait of a young man in the park not eating his sandwich

by tisfan



Series: Tony Stark Bingo [34]
Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game)
Genre: Blind Date, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 04:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19940161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisfan/pseuds/tisfan
Summary: Jan takes it upon herself to arrange a date for TonyTony Stark Bingo square S5 - Writing Format: Breaking the Fourth Wall





	A portrait of a young man in the park not eating his sandwich

**Author's Note:**

  * For [27dragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/gifts).



> Well, this has apparently been sitting, unpublished, for quite a while now...

Tony was sitting on one of the benches in Avenger’s Park, eating his lunch. And by _eating his lunch_ , I should probably inform you that Tony Stark never actually ate lunch at all. Usually he grabbed a fruit smoothie of some sort and drank it while talking a mile a minute and working on three projects at once. Saving some special quality him time every twenty seconds or so to reflect on whether or not he’d screwed up massively in the last thirty seconds.

So when I tell you that Tony was sitting on a bench, in the Park, eating his lunch, you will understand by that that things are very, very wrong.

Tony tore off a piece of his sandwich and threw it. One of the multiple squirrels that lived in the park came down to investigate, but squirrels, I’m sorry to say, don’t really care much for liverwurst, and while he did take the sandwich, he didn’t actually eat it. The penguin that came by later did, however, and liked it very much. 

You may ask why there are penguins in the park, but that’s a secret and I’m not going to tell you. You could ask Director Fury, but I promise he will only tell you it’s classified. Black Widow might know, but she doesn’t like to share secrets.

And all of this is beside the point anyway.

The point is, that Tony Stark was sitting on a bench, in the park, not eating his sandwich.

Jan noticed.

Loki noticed.

Even Scott Lang noticed. Which, if you know Scott at all, that’s pretty impressive. Scott didn’t say anything, though.

Loki and Jan, however, did.

Of course, being Jan and Loki, they had different ideas about what should be done. Loki wanted to play a prank -- such as disguising himself as a present and then turning into a snake which might make Tony jump and shriek. Jan was all right with the jumping and shrieking part, but vastly preferred Tony’s jumps to be of joy.

Jan is, you understand, an optimist.

That’s about two steps under being a fool.

Loki’s somewhat less optimistic, but he’s also not adverse to Jan’s particular manner of cheering someone up, which is, either: 

\-- Getting them an entirely new wardrobe, which means lots of time at the mall, one of Loki’s favorite places, or

“Hey, Tony,” Jan said, plopping down on the bench next to him. “Are you busy on Friday?”

“Hullo, Jan,” Tony said, not looking up. “Unless one of the crystal cages cracks and we have to deal with a new round of villains trying to take over the world, and Madame Hydra doesn’t assign any more homework this week -- I swear, Life Lessons is the worst class ever -- then yeah, I’m free. What do you--”

“Great! You’re going on a date.”

“Uh… I am? With who?”

“It’s a blind date, I’m setting it up.”

Loki enjoyed blind dates; they were never much fun for the person doing the dating, and they were tons of fun for everyone _watching_.

***

When Jan said she had an idea, we’re given to understand that she didn’t, really. She had more like the seed of an idea and the optimistic thought that throwing it on the ground would make it grow into a grand plan.

“So, who are we setting Tony up on a date with?” Loki wondered. “Don’t say me, because we already tried that and it didn’t work out for either of us. And my father’s already blind in one eye, so the blind date thing just makes him nervous.”

“No, no, it wasn’t going to be you, you’re not right for Tony at all,” Jan replied. Which made Loki angry, because he didn’t want to date Tony Stark anyway, but he also wanted it to be his idea and not someone else’s, and certainly not because he was, in any way, _wrong_.

“I could be,” Loki said.

“No, you couldn’t, and don’t bother to get all trickster god about it, no one has time for that. No, I need the perfect person for Tony.”

Loki sighed and let himself look around the campus. The obvious answers were there; Bruce Banner, Jane Foster (if for no other reason than it would piss off Thor, and that would be very funny), Norman Osbourn. All the scientists and people that Tony had something in common with.

“What about Barnes?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why not--” Barnes was an athlete, not remotely science-y as far as Loki knew, and only spoke to Widow and Rogers. It would be a delightful disaster. Quite a bit of fun to watch. From a distance.

And maybe with some added trickery along the way.

Jan’s eyebrows went up. “I always worry when you’re right about something.”

Loki just gave her a bland smile. Defending his suggestion would just talk her out of it, and Loki wanted to see the fireworks.

He always did like fireworks. 

***

By the time Friday night rolled around, he was fine. Perfectly fine, thank you very much. Not the least bit worried about who he’d been set up with, or what they were doing, or any of it.

He still didn’t know who the date was, and that didn’t bother him, either.

And by fine, I mean, very close to, but not yet having a complete panic attack in Pym’s classroom. Which was not quite the exactly the polar opposite of _fine_.

“It would help if I even knew how to dress,” Tony told Jan.

“Is there talking going on in my class, because there should not be talking, only science!”

Tony slumped down in his desk, pulled out his phone and tapped angrily at the screen. _WHO IS IT?_

_You look fine, Tony._

“Of course I look fine, you’re the one that picks my wardrobe, I’m just--” Tony shrieked as his phone shrank down to the size of a Barbie toy.

“No talking, Mr. Stark,” Pym said. “If you miscalculate while using Pym particles, you could not only kill yourself, but destroy the very fabric of the universe.”

“So, like, no pressure,” someone said from the back of the class. Tony craned to look at who the joker was as everyone else laughed.

Barnes flicked him a two metal fingered wave and grinned.

Oh, oh, oh. _Crap_.

“Is it Barnes?” Tony hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

How the heck had Jan convinced Bucky Barnes, hero of WW2, normally a cohort with Tony’s damn father and also best friends with Tony’s damn rival, to go on a blind date?

“Relax, Tony,” Jan said. “It’ll be fine, I know what I’m doing.”

Now, that should have been reassuring, when your best friend for most of your life tells you that she knows what she’s doing. But Tony had said the same thing on any number of occasions, and only half of those had blown up in his face, slammed him into a wall, or one time, put him through a plate glass window and a fourteen story fall.

Fifty percent was… not good odds.

***

Bucky knocked on the door exactly four minutes after he was supposed to be there. Jan had told him that Tony tended to be late for just about everything, but Bucky didn’t want to be too late and make Tony think Bucky didn’t actually want to go on the date.

“Wha-- oh, Barnes, it-- should I--” Tony blinked a few times and then, “You look… scruffy.”

Bucky was wearing his second favorite pair of identical black jeans with the knees torn around and the strategic tears in the upper thigh.

In answer to Tony’s comment, he held up his skateboard. “Jan said, you uh… had a hoverboard? An’ maybe you’d like to, you know, hit the ramps. An’ then maybe we could grab a slice and some soda at the quad?”

Tony stared for a few seconds, which was really only a few seconds, but to Bucky, it seemed like the entire universes could have formed, and stars died.

“Um. Skateboarding. Yes, yes, I can do that.”

“Great.”

“Great!” Tony continued to stand there for a moment, then -- “right, let me get my board, why don’t you-- come in?”

Bucky let the door slide shut behind him.

It was going to be a great date.

And I’m happy to say-- it was.

Even when Loki did convince Noir Thor to make it rain, the two of them cuddled together under the awning of the Club Galaxy with its music throbbing from inside, and enjoyed each other’s company.

Much to Jan’s satisfaction.

Because Jan… is always right.

Even when it just means she yells louder.


End file.
